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Understanding The Law Of Attraction: “You Don’t Attract What You Want, You Attract What You Are.”


  • The Facts: The “Law of Attraction” is a popular idea that centres around the manifesting of what you want. Its popularity has grown as more people wish to take deeper action on their lives.

  • Reflect On: What is the difference between what your mind/ego wants and what your heart wants? Your soul’s desires are coming from the true you. Whereas the mind’s ideas typically come from society, media and so forth. Have you explored the difference?

Many years ago, I watched a documentary called, “The Shift, Ambition To Meaning,” featuring beloved author and spiritual teacher, Dr. Wayne Dyer, that had a profound affect on me. One of the concepts that I took from this movie, and what I want to focus on today is around a question that was raised about the law of attraction, and how that actually worked. Dr. Dyer responded with a very simple statement, that was, “You don’t attract what you want, you attract what you are.” This stuck with me and has been serving me ever since.

When I envisioned all of the things that I want in life, and then compare those to where I am at now, how I was acting, and what I was doing on a daily basis, it seemed perfectly clear as to why things had not been working out the way I imagined. You have to literally be what you want to become. After hearing this quote from Dr. Dyer, it was like a light bulb went off in my head and I realised, that in order to achieve what I know in my heart I want for myself, I must be that, and live that truth whenever possible.

It’s one thing to say, ‘I want to find a partner who fits x, y, and z box’, but do you also fit those boxes? Do you wish to be healthy and free of disease, yet haven’t taken the appropriate action steps to take care of your health? If you want to be slim and toned, are you working on becoming that? This seems pretty obvious, but it’s amazing how often we want something yet do nothing to actually work towards it. This is one of the fundamental things that the mainstream teachings of the law of attraction fail to recognise. It’s not as easy as, ‘I want this, I am going to focus all of my energy and attention on it until I have it’. That won’t work. Instead, we must put our energy, intention, and attention to being that which we want. It helps greatly if it’s our hearts true desires, and not just something we want because it’s all the hype these days.

Yes — this also falls into the category of the law cause and effect. Sometimes, if we can only dream of becoming that person we always wanted to be, and we don’t have currently what we always desired, how can we act as if we do? How can we change our perspective to see that we already have everything we need? The answer to these questions is to have gratitude for all we have and then begin to live as though we already have everything we always wanted.

When we express gratitude to the Universe for that which we do have, it’s not necessarily saying, “Okay, this is what I have and it’s enough,” more so, we are saying that we know we are taken care of and ready to keep it going and take it to the next level.

So, you’re not a world-class piano player, how can you emulate that dream? Can you envision yourself playing in front of a massive audience? That dream house you’ve always wanted, can you be grateful for the house you do have and imagine that the house you’re living in is that dream? When you have friends over could you show them around the same way you would in your dream home? You don’t attract what you want, you attract what you are.

Another Beneficial Practice

This reminded me of another teaching from another one of my favourite authors, Dr. Joe Dispenza. He believes, in regards to the law of attraction that when you are envisioning in your mind what it is that you want, you cannot come from a place of lack or not having it, or even thinking about how badly you want it. In doing so, you are sending the message out into the Universe that you don’t have this.

He advises, that when you are envisioning your hopes and dreams that you not only see yourself living out these dreams, but you also can hold this feeling of gratitude in your heart, for having and living this dream. So, essentially, it’s not simply thinking about what you want, with the mind, and envisioning it — with the mind. You also have to FEEL it, to truly feel it and believe with all of your heart that you already do, and then emulate that gratitude with a big smile on your face.

What Will Really Serve You?

It is also important to understand, that the soul gets what the soul needs. So, if a red Ferrari is what your mind/ego really wants, if that won’t serve you in the evolution and growth of your soul, then you might not be getting that Ferrari. Understanding this can start a great self-inquiry by figuring out what is it that you truly want in life? If you’re not happy now, is it material possessions that will make you happy? As the Universe ALWAYS has your back, if you can determine what your soul truly desires, and will assist you to step further into your purpose and potential, then sure, why wouldn’t you be able to have that? You just have to believe that you are already that thing, and trust the process. Life is not working against you, despite what it may seem especially during challenging times.

Removing Doubt

Easier said than done. Did this thought roll through your head? That’s completely natural, especially when you are coming from a place of mind. Regardless of what may be the outcome of this experiment, why not give it a try? You can’t really go wrong by expressing gratitude to the Universe, and if that’s all that comes from this, then at least you will have gotten yourself into a space of gratitude.

For me personally, as soon as I started acting more like the way I envisioned myself becoming, doors started opening for me, these doors didn’t even seem to exist before. I was hitting roadblocks when I wasn’t living my highest truth. After I put these teachings into practice, I started looking at things differently, and then worked towards that which I did want, rather than dwelling on the things that weren’t working out. It was amazing how things began to turn around very quickly.

So, let me ask you.

  • What do you want?

  • Who do you want to be?

  • What will serve you?

“You don’t attract what you want, you attract what you are.”

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